Satire
Angels & Demons:
A Love Story
by Silvia Hartmann
Once upon a space time dimensionality, there were two races, angels, and demons.
All was well and they never got in each other's way until one day, an angel girl
and a demon boy fell in love and produced an offspring.
All heaven and hell were let loose simultaneously, but much to everyone's
chagrin, young Angelizuth was born (named after his mother, Angelica, and his
father, Atziluth) and grew healthy, and strong.
Now, Angelizuth was very lonely.
He wasn't allowed into the demon schools, and he wasn't allowed in the angel
schools, either. There was really nowhere at all for him to go whatsoever, so he
just flew around by himself and had conversations with imaginary friends, whom
he told to call him AZ (pronounced ay-see, to be sure).
When AZ was good, he was very, very good. When he was bad - well, you can
imagine!
His mother and father had fallen out due to "irreconcilable differences" shortly
after AZ started to fly by himself and returned to their home tribes; and AZ was
really worrying about his future, insofar that he was quite convinced he had
none.
But when he got to a certain age, an amazing thing happened.
ALL the angel gals were just crazy about him.
"Oooh", they swooned, "Ooh! Isn't he strong and powerful! And SUCH an impressive
wing span ..."
They just could not keep their eyes and their other extremities off him and
followed him around with rapt attention, wherever he went.
But that wasn't all.
The demon gals, likewise, were completely enchanted.
"OOOOOh!" they'd writhe in ecstasy, "Isn't he COOL? And so ... SMOOTH!"
And it was absolutely true, he was.
As you can imagine, this really put both the young demons as well as the young
angel boys entirely up in arms. They weren't getting a look in and all they got
to hear was, "AZ this," and "AZ that" and "Ooooh ... AZ!"
So the unimaginable happened - there was a conference held between the demons and
angels, the first one EVER in the history of all dimensions, and it was decided
that AZ should be banned and banished (as he was quite unkillable, like all the rest of
them).
As the banishment commenced, the demon and angel boys were full of glee and joy,
thinking that now they would have a girl or two for themselves once more, but
they had severely underestimated just how attached all the girls had become to
AZ.
When he was whirled away in the banishment to the most dismal and forsaken far
away place in all the planes, as one all the demon and angel girls threw
themselves into the vortex - and left the banishers with nothing but an entire
eternity
of enforced homosexuality to look forward to.
So this is how AZ ended up on some blue green backwater planet in the middle of
nowhere, with a legion of brides.
They kept him busy, it is true; and indeed, so very very busy that he got fed up
and banished himself into solitary interspace drifting; his demon and angel
brides took off in search of him and were further never heard of again.
Which just left AZ's many offspring.
Who had the problem that they really never could figure out how to fly properly
at all. With a mix of demon and angel parts in the second generation, they
couldn't fly up like angels do, nor fly down like demons; they were just sort of
stuck in the middle - and there they stayed.
They also had parts conflicts and never managed to work out how or why that was;
and eventually came up with a great many explanations as to where on Earth they
had come from, or what the Hell they were supposed to be doing with themselves.
© Silvia Hartmann 2004
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