ℹ️ This page has been archived. Please use the top menu for latest content or see:

Steve & Silvia Do Berlin

December 2006

Steve & Silvia in Hotel NH Mitte, Berlin 2006

I really don't know how this happened; it was one of these things that just happened without planning or thought. I just decided on the spur of the moment to go Christmas shopping in Berlin for a few days, went online, booked the whole thing and so off we went!

Most of the following pictures were taken by Steve who took it upon himself to become the official photographer. This was probably also due to the fact that our camera was the immensely cumbersome, if lovely, Canon OE5 which weighs a ton and doesn't fit into my handbag :-)

Here's our sweet little plane, courtesy of EasyJet. Worth a mention that the train tickets from Eastbourne to Gatwick cost more than the plane tickets from Gatwick to Berlin. What *is* that?

So here we are.

Berlin.

Everything is square.

Really, really, REALLY square. Might be a Bauhaus thing, who knows? But it is certainly a lot squarer than even New York, somehow.

Berlin is *big*. Not tall, high or massive, just amazingly spread out over a very large area. That it was two cities for half a century probably didn't help.

Berlin is *flat*. Not a hill in sight. That is a very good thing, considering how far you have to walk to get from one point to another. There are four things that help with that, though. These are:

1. Buses

2. Underground

3. City Railway

4. Taxis

During my stay in Berlin, I have come to LOVE taxis. One day I must start a foundation for taxi drivers, or marry one; where would we have ever been without them? How would we have found our way around? WHO, I ask, would have provided comfort, soft leather seats, warmth and rescue on a freezing night far from anywhere one might call home and a safe journey back to civilisation after you got thoroughly and hopelessly lost?

Taxis. I *love* them. I bless the person who invented them. Without them, this would have been hideous; with them, it was very cool and much fun was had all around.

This is the NH Mitte hotel where we stayed. If you think, "Wow, that's square ..." you're right. But that's Berlin. If it doesn't look ... square, it won't be built, it seems.

Like the mooseses in Toronto, Berlin also has fibre glass statues for sale & decoration to their local businesses. This is the Berlin NH Mitte hotel bear. Pink and stripey :-) I keep wanting to put something on their heads to carry for them, they're designed for that.

On the other side of the street to the hotel, I was intrigued by the statue of a person being followed by some strange three legged arm amputated pig man. One night I went over to look at it more closely and found out that the building opposite was in fact, the Rumanian embassy. Aaalright ... that makes sense, now ... ;->

On the topic of noteworthy buildings, this is Hotel Adlon near the Brandenburg Gate, and if you look up, you can see the balcony from which Michael Jackson dangled Blanket to cause a riot. Fascinating what buildings can become famous for ...

One of the funny or disturbing things about Berlin is that you never know what you're looking at, whether it is actually a "real" building or a replica. Most of the buildings in Berlin are not original, because Berlin was extensively bombed and East Berlin extensively de-constructed of historical artefacts, so what you're looking at is usually either brand new, or repaired to the degree it might as well be brand new.

Now they're trying very hard to disguise this and thus it is very difficult when you're looking around to get any sense of history; the place is out of time in the strangest way, and I've never experienced such a sense of being time displaced in a major city, or anywhere, at that.

The building in the picture above looks very much like so many others in Berlin, but that one is a survivor from before the 2nd World War - this was Goering's headquarters, sporting big eagles on the entrance columns which of course, were removed at some point. Somehow this building survived all the global destruction essentially unharmed - and now houses of all things, the German Internal Revenue (the taxman!!!).

How appropriate ...

Here is a "real" building - the Gedaechtnis-Kirche (Memorance Church) which was left as a ruin, one of the few reminders you can still find of the destruction of the war. Supported by a square tower, as it is now. Very strange.

On one of our outings, I spotted this church and thought to take some momentary refuge inside. I must confess to being really shocked to discover upon opening the door, that this church had been gutted of all things church related apart from the altar, which was still there, and instead, housed an exhibition of sculpture.

The people who built this thing didn't build it to be an exhibition space and I had a real sense of vertigo at this use of the building. I asked at the information desk if and when the church had been officially de-consecrated and the person didn't have a clue even what I was talking about. Oh well. It is called Friedrichswerdersche Kirche for what it's worth.

Steve took the following picture inside:

Wandering around Berlin, I can't help but get the feeling that they're trying to erase the past here, not build upon it. They're trying to erase the division and most of all, trying to erase the 3rd Reich, going back to the Prussian empire state feeling. With it being illegal to display Nazi symbols in Germany, I guess its understandable but the very absence of eagles bearing swastikas anywhere, or any trace of the 3rd Reich whatsoever, is really and truly disconcerting to a foreign visitor.

I was in the lobby of our hotel, waiting to ask a question from the information desk person (all of whom were very knowledgeable and extremely helpful, I would like to note!). Before me was a group of tourists, five strong, which I would have thought were Polish. They enquired about any sightseeing opportunities to "Hitler sites, Nazi sites and museums". The information desk person, a man of about 28 or so, stiffened noticeably, stopped smiling and said there was a Holocaust museum, but no Nazi museums. The tourists were disappointed by this news and declined the offer of booking a tour to the Holocaust museum.

The fact is that so many years on, the 3rd Reich and the Nazis remains fascinating, especially for those who have no experience or direct knowledge of the gruesome reality of the whole deal. The larger than life personalities, the grand show staging, the buildings, the costumes they wore, the global destruction and the Shakespearian drama and tragedy, right down to a mother poisoning her six children in the end is the stuff that legends of the ages are made of, whether you like this, or not. Eventually, and this is my personal opinion, both Berlin and the German people will have to come to terms with that. There will be a Nazi museum and it will be packed with foreign tourists.

In the meantime, and just to show how far this Nazi denial is in action, just look at this:

Any idea what we might be looking at here?

Well you could say it's a car park belonging to a number of apartment buildings.

That's right.

It is also the exact spot where the entrance to Hitler's bunker used to be, where his and Eva's bodies were dowsed in petrol and set on fire, and below this car park, there is the bunker, backfilled with concrete and apparently, way below the water table and "most likely all rotted away by now".

The poster on the stand you can see there has been put up only a couple of years ago to even acknowledge that "x marks the spot". Tourist buses drive by slowly but no-one gets out.

It is FUCKING WEIRD, ladies and gentlemen, to stand there and look at that.

Psychotic. Repression and burying of the past in real and visible action. But it won't last. I don't know how long it will take, but eventually there'll be a bunker center there with virtual walk throughs and a strange monument. That sign is the first sign of that.

Want to guess what this is?

It's ... the main Holocaust memorial for the Jewish victims of the 3rd Reich. 6 million of them.

I'm sorry.

I don't get it.

I really don't.

I was told that there was some controversy over the fact that this monument(al weirdness) was only dedicated to Jewish victims, and that it left out all the others - gypsies, gays, handicapped people, dissidents. Only five million of those, but still.

Being half gypsy myself, I look at that thing and think, well, perhaps it's just as well.

I can't imagine going to THAT and feeling that justice was done, artistically, emotionally, or in any way you look at that.

What on EARTH must the design ideas that didn't get in have been like?

I cannot begin to imagine.

Let's move on, swiftly ...

Or is that what is supposed to happen ...?

Here's a picture that you won't be seeing much longer, and this is another effort at national psychotherapy in action, concerning the half century divide between the two Germanies, east and west.

On the right, you have an old Prussian palace of some kind. Where it ends and there's a gap, that's where the wall used to be at this point.

On the other side, you have this hideous lump of square black.

Where that is right now, there *used* to be the other half of that palace, on the other side of the road.

But the communists in East Germany pulled it down, razed it to the ground and built in its place, "the people's parliament" out of black slabs of concrete.

Wow ...

Now, the current government of the once more united, but still highly psychotic Germany, is tearing "the people's parliament" down and are planning to re-build the other half of the palace that once was there - hey!

Then it'll be as though nothing ever happened at all!

My personal opinion on the topic would be to leave the "people's parliament".

ANYONE who looks at that (and I think my cat would hiss and spit!) can really get how soulless and joyless that building is, how artless, how godless, even. Looking at that building gives you a real idea of just what the communist years in the eastern part must have been like, more than anything else I personally saw in all of Berlin.

Well, soon it will be gone and in its place, the Prussian past will rise once more ... No, not the 3rd Reich, just to be sure. Happy, healthy Prussia. And didn't they win against the French in 1871?

In the center of Berlin is a big park, larger than Central Park in New York, which is a bit weird looking because none of the trees are older than 60 years, on account of the starving and freezing population left after the 3rd World War cutting down everything there once used to be for firewood at the time.

In the middle of said park there stands this statue, known to the locals as the Goldelse (Golden Elise).

This monument was created to celebrate the victory over the French 1871 and the shiny golden looking things around its base and circumference are actually French brass canons which were collected and used to make this monument.

Strangely, the monument wasn't bombed during the Allied bombing raids (conducted mostly by the British and the Americans) and stayed absolutely intact. After the war, the French tried to have the monument destroyed - but unlucky for them, it happened to end up in the British Zone and their request was denied.

Local rumour has it that the English officers used to polish it in their spare time, voluntarily ...

Whether this is true or not, I could not say.

The Wall

It is important to understand that in Berlin, the wall wasn't a dividing line, but it was built all around the three western allied parts of Berlin. This was because all of Berlin was INSIDE of the old Eastern GDR, and if you could get into it anywhere, you'd be given a West German passport and off you went.

There was an attempt to take over all of Berlin by blockading it and not allowing food into the Western sector; so the Americans launched what remains to this day the biggest air support operation which lasted for a whole year, with planes ferrying in everything for the population, one landing every 60 seconds to keep West Berlin alive.

It worked and the Soviet Union gave up, but the encapsulation of Berlin remained until the wall came down finally in 1989.

In the absence of a Nazi museum, the most visited locale in Berlin is probably Checkpoint Charlie. We spent a really interesting afternoon in the wall museum, which contains items such as an old VW Beetle with a hidden compartment under the engine, used to transport single individuals to freedom; a hand made hot air balloon in which two families escaped; a wooden cart used to transport soil from a tunnel that was dug; and very helpfully, a cinema that showed a movie of an escape with English subtitles. We watched this and it gave certainly Steve a much better idea what it was like in the East German part, or why people would go through such length to plan their escapes.

Former GDR frontier marker stone.

Steve & a piece of wall

Can't help writing on the wall ... :-)

The Curse Of The Inca Gold

We went to see an exhibition we came across in the Friedrichstrasse called "The Curse Of The Inca Gold".

This was good fun, especially as I managed to hire a postgraduate archaeology student for 10 euros for two and a half hours to give us the personal low down on what we were looking at. We looked at fascinating artefacts, insured for 4 million euros, from the Aztecs, Moche and Nasca and right at the very end of the exhibition, came across a silver dog's head which was apparently the one and only Inca artefact in the entire exhibition. In jest, I said, "I want my money back! This is called the curse of the Inca gold, and not only isn't anything here cursed in the slightest, there isn't any Inca gold at all!"

The poor German archaeologist took me seriously and explained hurriedly that it was a marketing matter and people wouldn't come for uncursed Moche and Nasca exhibits; I thought it was seriously funny. The collection was good and really, I didn't mind at all that the only actual Inca thing was a silver dog's head. The Spanish were pretty comprehensive in their destruction of the Inca culture and the robbing of their things; what was actually in the exhibition were all items found much later, in the 1900s, during digging up burial sites and such.

Fernsehturm

Wherever you go in Berlin, you see the tower with the ball stuck on it; Steve expressed the wish to go on it and so we did.

Now here's German efficiency for you.

When we went to New York, we queued for the Empire State building for about five hours and it was hellish as an experience all around.

On this occasion, we took a taxi to the foot of the tower.

We bought two tickets for 8 euros each.

We got on the elevator, went up on the tower, walked around it and were out back on the street in less than 15 minutes all told.

Yay! to efficiency in visiting such structures, is all I can say :-)

Shopping In Berlin

Berlin is famous for its Christmas markets. We visited a number of them and I got quite excited and bought lots of stuff there. Steve was disappointed because whilst we were there, Berlin was having one of the warmest Decembers since records began and he wanted snow.

I apologised for the lack of snow and try to explain that although the thought of snow is very romantic, the reality of it, and walking around in it in our trainers, would be a different story altogether. However, we come from a place where it virtually never snows and I don't think my tales of suffering made any impact on Steve, who hasn't experienced what it is like to trudge round a German fair or Christmas market when your feet are like blocks of ice.

The glow-wine was good and so were the Bratwurst, the Kartoffelpuffer and on one occasion, the Gruenkohl :-) Well, *I* thought these things were good. Steve remained very suspicious of the local cuisine and preferred to stay with Pommes Frites and steaks most of the time :-)

Gendarmenmarkt by the Opera House

Is it a cheese stand? No! It's a soap stand! LOL!

Berlin used to be a showcase for the capitalist cause at one time, like holding up a sign to the consumer good deprived East Germans to say, "Keep digging those tunnels to freedom, and all these shiny goodies will await you in wonderland!"

To this end, there is a big department store called Kaufhaus Des Westens, or Kadewe abbreviated, "Department store of the West" which is a sort of Berlin mecca for shoppers.

Personally, I truly HATE department stores. I have panic attacks in them, and the thought of visiting them gives me palpitations. Nothing personal. I dislike visiting Harrod's just the same as Macy's and Kadewe is no exception. Still, Steve wanted to look at the toy department and check out the local video games, so I braced myself for impact and we went to the Kadewe.

"... und vor Paris steht Micky Mouse ..."

Ah! Finally a real Berlin baer!

I was surprised (and Steve bitterly disappointed!) to find how deeply traditional German toys still are compared to the UK. An absolute dominance of traditional dolls, teddies, wooden toys of all sorts and board games (bored games, I call those).

This wasn't just Kadewe either. Yes, there were specialist shops around for more modern endeavours such as computer games, anime related goodies, trading cards and such, but I must say I found it intriguing that the same toys I saw in stores 40 years ago are still so much in vogue. In the UK, it's the other way around. If you want traditional toys, you need to go to a specialist store and the general trading is much more 21st century. Good or bad, I couldn't say, just something I noticed and which surprised me.

I was quite excited to visit a Berlin "troedelmarkt", car boot sale type thing, but again the absence of anything even vaguely 3rd Reich related was just WEIRD.

Please don't get me wrong - I'm not a collector of Nazi memorabilia, but to see all these plaques, stamps, books, flags, hats, statues, uniform buttons, old currency from the Soviet Union, of Lenin, Stalin, of the old GDR, EN MASSE and there to be just absolutely nothing from the 3rd Reich on sale just makes you feel you have landed in one of those strange alternate realities that is different from what you thought you knew or remembered.

Also, with so many antique stalls, the temporal gap in the wares is astonishing. This also holds true for the many antique shops in Berlin as well.

As it was, I purchased something not German at all - I found two Indian messenger tubes which I really liked and after a bit of haggling, got both for 40 euros. Bargain!

Out & About In Berlin

When you are in Berlin, how do you know you are in the previous East part?

Simple. Look on the roads for tram lines!

In the West, the trams were deleted in the 1970s when petrol was cheaper than air as was done in most major cities around that time; in the East, the trams remained and now are once again, quite competitive as a way of ferrying people around.

We travelled around freely and bought tickets every so often; I don't know if we bought the right tickets, or if we should have bought more but in all the time we moved about Berlin on the underground, city trains and the tram, I never saw one single conductor, not one person who checked anything anywhere, not a porter or railway official, and there were no turnstiles or automatic ticket collecting machines whatsoever.

The tour guide told us that Berlin was 80 billion euros in the red. Which is twice as much as the debt of all of California. Not bad for a single city of just three million inhabitants. I bet they lose a mint on their multifarious public transport systems, too.

We found an Irish pub in the Hackisher Markt. It is funny. Wherever you go, even on the moon, so I'm told, there is an Irish pub. Good! A nice oasis in a square world ... :-)

Unter Den Linden

Brandenburger Gate At Night

Potsdamer Platz

We found a traditional German fairground. Steve also went into the spook house and on the roller coaster; unfortunately he whizzed by too fast for the photo to have worked out!

One of my three main personal EmoTrance experiences took place here on this Ferris Wheel. I don't know quite how long it's been since I've been on one of these, or I might never have been - they are free swinging gondolas with benches and no safety harness, good old fashioned, and turn in all directions as well through the central post. I got really frightened at the top and ended up clinging to the central post, which in turn made Steve more than nervous. But I managed to get it under control with a good bit of ET. Now that's a situation where ET scores over EFT, because at the time, I really couldn't let go off the central post and would not have had any fingers with which to tap!

A random image I asked Steve to take for my amusement - that man has got a sausage roasting stomach shop! One euro per sausage. Does it get hot, I wonder?!