EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques Article
Relationships Help With EFT
The EFT Relationships Protocol & EFT Proxy Protocol For
Relationships
by Silvia Hartmann
Overcoming Negative Emotions And Feelings, In And About
Relationships With
EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques - Release
Jealousy, Irritation, Love Pain, Fear Of
Commitment, Conflicting Feelings, Insecurity,
Low Self Esteem, Fear of Rejection, Anger,
Sadness, Bereavement and Depression And Set
Yourself Free!
Part I - Relationships Help With EFT
Part II - The Full EFT Protocol & Diagram
Part III - Proxy EFT - Surrogate EFT Tapping
Welcome,
and
first
things
first.
You
may have
followed
a
link
that
promised
you a
FREE technique to help you with your
relationship problems, to change
yourself OR change another, and that
works
like
magic.
You
might
not
believe
it
quite
yet,
but
it's
actually
true.
I'm going to show you a simple
Meridian Energy Therapy self help
protocol
called
EFT
(short
for
Emotional
Freedom
Techniques)
which
is
going
to
help
you
with
your:
-
relationship problems,
-
social phobias,
-
commitment problems, .
and other types of
relationship based negative emotions
including:
-
love pain,
-
jealousy and
-
bereavement.
I,
by
the
way,
am
Silvia Hartmann,
a
hypnotherapist
and neuro-semanticist
from
the
United
Kingdom.
I
didn't
invent
this
technique,
a
very
nice
man
called
Gary
Craig
from
the
US
gets
the
honours
for
that,
but
it
has
helped
me
and
my
own
friends,
family
and
clients
so
much
that
I
do
what
I
can
to
spread
the
word.
Let's
get
right
to
it
and
look
at
the
five
things
you
need
to
know
to
make
this
work
for
you:
At
the
core
and center of
all
relationship
problems
lie strong and overwhelming emotions
such
as
fear,
low
self
esteem,
unpleasant
emotions
such
as
jealousy,
feeling
abandoned,
feeling
hurt,
feeling
unlovable,
feeling
trapped,
feeling
desperate,
feeling
unloved.
If
there
weren't
any
emotions
involved,
there
wouldn't
be
such
a
thing
as
a
relationship
problem
at
all
-
this
is
important
to
note
and
to
remember.
After
all,
if
a
single
man
wasn't
afraid
of
rejection
and
the
painful
emotions
this
creates,
he
could
just
chat
up
one
woman
after
another,
40
a
night,
every
night,
until
one
finally
said
"Yes
please!"
If
a
battered
woman
wasn't
low,
depressed,
unhappy,
scared,
and
worst
of
all,
probably
still
in
love
with
the
guy
in
question,
she
would
probably
be
able
to
pick
up
and
leave.
So
first
of
all, sit
back
for
a
moment
and
consider
what
the
worst
problem
are
(or
the
things
that
cause
you
to
feel
the
worst,
to
use
different
words)
and
either
write
it
down
or
make
a
mental
note.
I've
put
the
probable
corresponding
emotions
in
brackets,
but
it's
the
statements
that
count.
Do
this
now.
Examples
of problem relationship statements could
be:
-
He
is
driving
me
crazy
with
his
womanizing
(anger!)
-
I
can't
stand
her
company
any
more
(repulsion,
rejection)
-
She
doesn't
even
know
that
I
exist
(sadness,
anger,
helplessness)
-
I'm
sure
he's
having
an
affair (fear,
terror, anxiety,
panic)
-
I
don't
trust
her
anymore
(hurt,
anger)
-
This
relationship
is
killing
me
(depression,
sadness,
fear)
-
I
can't find anybody
to love me
(hopelessness,
sadness)
-
I'm
not good enough to
be loved
(hopelessness)
Pick
the
worst
of
those
statements
to
now
try
out
if
our
wonderful
EFT Emotional
Freedom
Technique
works
for
you.
The
instructions
are
on
the
next
page,
but
whilst
we're
still
here,
a
quick
word
about
its
effectiveness.
In
the
general
population
(ie
not
hospitalized
or
imprisoned
folk)
EFT
works
first
time
for
about
85%
of
people.
The
rest
need
more
perseverance
and
it
will
work
eventually. EFT is
easy
to
do
and
good
for
you.
And
EFT is
free!
So
now
go
to
the
treatment
page
and
try
this
out
for
yourself
to
see
how
much
better
you
can
feel
about
your problems, then come back and read
the rest of this article.
When
you
can
remove
bad
feelings,
two
things
happen.
The
first
is
that
your
body
says,
"Thank
you
VERY
much!"
and
you're
less
likely
to
be
suffering
from
headaches,
heart
attacks,
skin
rashes,
sleeplessness
and
all
kinds
of
other
problems.
The
second
thing
is
that
you
get
to
think
clearly
again. This is especially important
when there are decisions to be made,
such as should I continue with this
relationship, or should I get out and
start afresh?
That's not all though. When your
inborn common sense can get to work and
is no longer overwhelmed by all these
overpowering emotions, you can often
also find that new ideas turn up,
different ideas as to how you can deal
with the situation before you. it gives
you a whole new level of confidence!
Now
the
magic
part
-
how
to
change
another.
By
accident,
it
was
discovered
that
by
doing
the EFT energy balancing on yourself,
you can somehow affect others.
It
was
invented
or
discovered
by
a
mother
who
was
sitting
by
the
incubator
of
her
tiny
premature
baby
and
who
had
been
told
that
the
child
would
not
survive
the
night.
She
was
a
therapist,
absolutely
distraught
and
used
the
EFT
technique
to
calm
herself.
As
she
tapped,
the
baby
began
to
move
a
little,
then
its
colour
changed
and
it
did
not
die.
The
mother
was
convinced
that
it
was
her
tapping
that
had
somehow
created
the
change
in
the
baby,
and
"EFT Proxy
Tapping"
was
born.
I've
used
it,
like
tens
of
thousands
of
others
by
now,
and
it
really
works
much
better
than
distant
healing
-
it's
like
something
real
is
going
on
that
we
just
can't
explain
yet.
For
instructions
on
how
to
do
Proxy
EFT (Surrogate Tapping EFT), please see
Part III below.
You
don't
have
to
believe
that
it
works,
by
the
way.
Just
do
it
for
a
couple
of
days
and
notice
the
results!
You
can
just
treat
your
relationship
pains
with
EFT
and
all
is
well.
However,
you
can
use
it
for
more
than
that.
For
examples,
beliefs
such
as,
"All
men
are
bastards"
have
a
nasty
habit
of
becoming
absolutely
true
for
those
who
believe
it,
whilst
the
nice
men
pair
off
with
the
women
who
believe
that
"I
will
find
a
nice
man
who
loves
me
and
makes
me
feel wonderful at every street corner!".
Similarly,
beliefs
such
as
"Nobody
loves
me",
"I'm
too
ugly
to
be
lovable",
"I'll
never
find
a
decent
partner",
"Only
model
perfect
people
can
have
a
lover"
and
so
forth
are
superb
reality
creators
as
well
as
being
very
very
depressing
to
ponder
on
at
any
length.
You
can
change
these
beliefs
with
EFT
just
as
well
as
you
can
release
bad
feelings,
because
these
are
linked
with
feeling
bad.
One
of the worst types of emotions in
relationships is being torn between love
and hate, anger and forgiveness, fear
and longing and any combination of
feelings you can imagine.
You
can use EFT to make peace between parts
of you that are pulling you in opposite
directions by using double statements
with an "and" connection to
express the conflict you are feeling,
such as:
"Being
with her is destroying me AND I cannot
live without her."
"I
want to leave him AND he is the father
of our children who need him."
"I
love her AND I despise her."
"I
want him AND I hate myself for it."
"I
want to stand up to her AND there is
nothing I can do."
"I
am terribly lonely AND I am terrified of
being in a relationship."
If
you find the "and" connection
a little strained, you can say
"but" instead; the main thing
is that both the conflict partners are
together in one sentence to release the
feeling of see-sawing from one thing to
the other or of feeling like you are
tearing apart under the strain.
You
can use more than two conflicting
statements in one sentence if you need
to when you do the tapping, as well.
Ok,
so
there
you
have
it.
I
hope
you'll
use
this
wonderful
thing,
and
remember
to
tell
people
you
like
about
it
too.
If
you
would
like
to
know
more
about
EFT
and
how
to
use
it
with
just
about
everything
from
weight
loss
to
money
problems,
I've
written
a complete, down to Earth training
manual called
"Adventures
In
EFT"
that will clearly explain how and why,
and give you many extra tips and hints
how to make EFT work for you so you can
finally get what you want out of
life.
Good
luck and all the best to you!
Silvia
Hartmann
Relationships Help With EFT
The EFT Relationships Protocol & EFT Proxy Protocol For
Relationships
by Silvia Hartmann
Overcoming Negative Emotions And Feelings, In And About
Relationships With
EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques - Release
Jealousy, Irritation, Love Pain, Fear Of
Commitment, Conflicting Feelings, Insecurity,
Low Self Esteem, Fear of Rejection, Anger,
Sadness, Bereavement and Depression And Set
Yourself Free!
Here is the self help sequence to use when you are working on your
relationship problems in private.
1. Think about your problem and focus on something specific about the whole
subject that makes you feel especially unhappy. Please be sure to try this
sequence on something that really feels bad - if there is no emotion, you cannot
release it successfully. In the next section, there will be some pointers on how
to formulate the right phrases to get started.
2. Find a phrase or a sentence that describes the problem succinctly and
clearly to you. As an example, we'll use an imaginary person who described his
feelings like this: "I just can't go on without her." This gives us what we call
the "opening statement" - "I just can't go on without her."
3. Consider for a moment how bad this problem is, how bad does it make you
feel? and give it a score from 0 - 10, 0 being no emotion at all and 10 being
unbearably painful. This is important so we can judge later how much emotion was
released.
4. Place your flat hand on your chest, either left or right, just above your
heart. Wait until you can feel the warmth of your hand through your clothes, rub
the hand round in a small circle and say the opening statement:
"Even though (insert statement of problem), I deeply and profoundly love and
accept myself"
Repeat this opening statement three times in all, continuously rubbing the
chest area just below the collar bone.
In our example, the man would say, "Even though I can't go on without her, I
deeply and profoundly love and accept myself".
5.
We
now
use
a
shortened
version
of
the
opening
statement
which
is
called
the
Reminder
phrase
and
tap
lightly
with
one
or
two
fingers,
about
seven
to
nine
times,
on
the
following
spots
(either
side
is
fine)
as
we
say
the
Reminder
phrase
on
each
point
once:
-
Start
Of
The
Eyebrow
-
Where
the
bone
behind
your
eyebrow
turns
into
the
bridge
of
your
nose.
-
Corner
Of
The
Eye
-
On
the
bone
in
the
corner
of
your
eye.
-
Under
The
Eye
-
On
the
bone
just
below
your
eye,
in
line
with
your
pupil
if
you
look
straight
ahead.
-
Under
The
Nose
-
Between
you
nose
and
your
upper
lip
-
Under
The
Mouth
-
In
the
indentation
between
your
chin
and
your
lower
lip
-
Collarbone
-
In
the
angle
formed
by
your
collarbone
and
the
breastbone
-
Under
Arm
-
in
line
with
a
man's
nipples
on
the
side
of
the
body
-
Thumb
-
all
finger
points
are
on
the
side
of
the
finger
facing
towards
you,
in
line
with
the
nail
bed
-
Index
Finger
-
Middle
Finger
-
Little
Finger
-
Karate
Chop
Point
-
on
the
side
of
your
hand,
roughly
in
line
with
your
life
line.
-
Gamut
Point
-
on
the
back
of
your
hand,
just
behind
and
between
the
knuckles
of
your
ring
and
little
finger.
In
the
example,
the
man
would
have
tapped
on
the
points
and
said
on
each
one,
"I
can't
go
on
without
her.".
When
you're
all
the
way
through,
take
a
deep
breath
in
and
out.
Wait
for
about
30
seconds,
then
say
the
original
statement
again
and
ask
yourself
to
give
a
new
rating
on
the
0
-
10
scale.
If
there
is
any
emotion
remaining,
you
do
the
sequence
again,
starting
with
a
new
set
up
statement
which
reflects
the
change,
such
as,
"Even
though
there
is
some
of
this
problem
remaining,
I
deeply
and
profoundly
accept
myself".
When
there
is
only
a
little
reminder,
you
can
completely
remove
the
rest
of
the
emotion
with
this
form
of
statement,
"I
want
to
get
over
this
problem
entirely,
and
I
deeply
and
profoundly
accept
myself."
Article
Text
Supplied
By
Silvia Hartmann
-
For
more details, examples, the full
protocol, and to learn to use EFT for
health, wealth and success,
order
Adventures In EFT -
EFT Works also with money worries,
decision making, goal setting AND MORE!
Relationships Help With EFT
The EFT Relationships Protocol & EFT Proxy Protocol For
Relationships
by Silvia Hartmann
Overcoming Negative Emotions And Feelings, In And About
Relationships With
EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques - Release
Jealousy, Irritation, Love Pain, Fear Of
Commitment, Conflicting Feelings, Insecurity,
Low Self Esteem, Fear of Rejection, Anger,
Sadness, Bereavement and Depression And Set
Yourself Free!
A
very
unusual
feature
of
the
Energy
Therapies
and EFT is
that
they
can
be
applied
by
one
person
for
another.
Often
used
when
there
is
distance
involved,
or
the
recipient
is
unconscious
or
cannot
tap
for
themselves,
and
in
the
case
of
small
babies,
Tapping
By
Proxy or Surrogate EFT Tapping
is
highly
effective.
To put the effectiveness into
perspective, we're not talking about
praying or absent healing here.
Something physical takes place about 8
times out of 10 in the recipient of the
treatment; this knocks most every form
of esoteric healing into a cocked hat.
For any relationship situation, to be
able to tap for and on behalf of the
other party is a fantastic thing that
can completely change the nature of your
relationship.
For couples, tapping for each other can
be one of the greatest breakthroughs
into real understanding and intimacy
imaginable.
Proxy tapping causes a "linking up" of
the energy system of one person to
another; so you can also expect to learn
something about the other person whilst
you're tapping for them.
- Q: Is Proxy Tapping without the
consent of the other ethical? A: If
thinking about another without their
permission is ethical, fantasizing
about them, praying for another, or
buying them presents to put them in a
good mood, then so is Proxy Tapping!
You
can:
1.
Make
a
statement
of
intent
first:
I
AM
(insert
name
of
recipient),
and
then
proceed
with
the
opening
statement
and
the
treatment
round
as
normal,
noting
any
energy
shifts
as
usual;
so,
for
example,
if
you
were
tapping
for
your
friend
James,
you
could
say,
"I
am
James.
Even
though
I
have
a
fear
of
commitment in relationships,
I
deeply
and
profoundly
accept
myself".
2.
Use
this
form
of
statement
(which
is
highly
recommended
for
children,
pets,
and
others
with
whom
you
have
a
close
and
intimate
relationship):
"Even
though
James
is
afraid
of
commitment,
I
deeply
and
profoundly
accept
him
and
love
him."
In
any
problem
situation
that
involves
relationships
of
any
kind,
proxy
tapping
can
be
of
great
help;
if
there's
two
reasonably
consenting
humans
involved,
the
shifts
can
be
absolutely
dramatic.
This
is
a
most
fascinating
aspect
of
EFT
and
one
which
I
strongly
invite
you
to
explore
for
yourself
-
it
can
be
absolutely
astonishing
in
its
results.
Proxy
Article Copyright 2001 Silvia
Hartmann
Author, Adventures In EFT
EFT is a FANTASTIC and easy to use
self help technique that really can put
an end to heart ache, jealousy,
frustration, fear, commitment phobia,
social phobia, and all sorts of other
contortions that preclude us from having
fun, satisfying, deep and intense
relationships - without any love pain
necessary! You can be FREE in a
relationship - and it is only then that relationships can really come to life
and reveal to us who we can really be. Use EFT for EVERYTHING emotional in
relationships! Don't be afraid anymore, don't let old beliefs and old traumas
stand in your way any longer. EFT works, it really, really WORKS to soothe
away fear, sadness, mistrust, disappoint, anger, jealousy, even longings and
heartaches, bereavement - and then we are set free to really be able to LOVE as
we are capable of. This is a GREAT gift, use it and make your life a
happier, healthier place, and yourself a shinier person who has so much more fun
in every way! Blessings and best of luck for all your loves to come, Silvia
Hartmann
Author, Adventures In EFT
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